On the Life, Styled Podcast on Friday I talked about personality frameworks like the enneagram, Myers-Briggs and The Four Tendencies and how I use them in my life. They have been hugely important to my self-discovery journey over the past few years and have helped me be a better friend, boss and leader. Today I wanted to share with you the four reasons that I love personality frameworks, and some resources for you to learn more about them yourself!
Unpacking the Dark Stuff - We all have some stuff in our personalities that we would rather keep hidden. No one is a flawless person. I don't think I would want to be! But it took me a long time to learn that about myself. For the longest time I was so attached to being "perfect" and not having a dark side for fear that people wouldn't want me in their lives (Hello Enneagram 3!). In digging into the personality frameworks, mostly the enneagram, I was able to realize that though I have a lot of strengths that I've spent a lot of time on, I have just as many weaknesses that need my attention. I have been able to do a lot of the hard work to understand these weaknesses and how I can make them work for me instead of against me. I don't think I would have been able to do this if I hadn't been willing to take the time and learn about myself and the reasoning behind my behaviors, which leads me to point number two!
Why I Do What I Do - This is probably the coolest part of learning about my identity through personality frameworks. So much of my life was explained by them. I have always loved teaching - you can thank my ENFJ and 3w2 sides for that. I've never had problems meeting expectations of myself and often get frustrated when people let themselves down - hello Upholder! There are so many things that made so much more sense once I took the time to analyze my personality using these frameworks. Once you actually spend time with the information about each type and compare it to your life experiences, it's hard to not see the validity in these frameworks.
Why Do They Do What They Do - The same thing can be said for others. Knowing the types of my friends and family has helped me understand why they behave the way they do and be more understanding of our differences. In the last episode of Life, Styled I talked about one of my friends who I recently learned was an Enneagram 2. This explained so much about her to me. She recently has gone through a terrible loss yet she is still showing up 100% for her people, even in small ways that she could let go during this time and no one would notice or blame her for. But even in her pain she's there supporting her people. That's a 2 and it explains so much about our friendship. I have stories like that for so many of my friends and family as I've learned about their types and I can't wait to keep seeing my people through these frameworks and learning more about them.
How Can I Help My People? - This is very related to point 3. When you know why people do what they do, you can learn how to help them better! I put out a survey on my Instagram while I was working on last week's podcast and asked people to tell me their types for several frameworks. A few of my actors/theatre students responded and one of them hit me really hard. She shared her enneagram type with me and I teared up a little when I saw it. She is an enneagram 6 and when I saw that so much of my experience working with her made so much sense, and immediately made me feel like a horrible teacher and person that I hadn't seen that. Had I known she was a 6 and was so motivated by anxiety I could've been a much better director and teacher for her, and now that I know that it will help me so much in the future when I work with her! It honestly made me want to know all of my actor's enneagram types so I can be the best I can be for each individual student. That may be unrealistic, but it was something that definitely made me think about who I am as a teacher and leader and what ways I can be better for my people!
I hope that you are inspired to take your own journey into self-discovery through these frameworks. Below is a list of some resources for three of my favorite frameworks - MBTI, Enneagram and The Four Tendencies.
Share a comment below about a time one of these frameworks (or another) really helped you understand yourself and others! Then head over and listen to the Life, Styled podcast to hear some of my stories!
xo,
Kayla
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